Ok so I have been avoiding this for weeks, hoping I would get better without medical intervention.
This morning I finally took my first Beta Blocker. All weekend I have felt an un-nerving sense of utter dread. The feeling is so frustrating that all I can do to release it is cry like a baby!! I woke this morning at 5am to constant heart flutters and a dreamlike state which I couldnt shake off in exchange for a relaxing sleep.
I felt restless, irriitable and my heart just wouldnt quit. I decided then that I couldnt fight it alone any longer. I need some help to get me through this
So I did it.
Its 10.43 currently and I have to say I feel slighly calmer. What is odd, is when my mind has the usual thoughts of dread, I can feel them moving towards the usual triggers, sweaty palms, nervous belly and heart flutter – yet there is nothing.
Stupidly, I have decided to look up the side affects and now swear I am having trouble breathing. I am a nightmare and I need to make today the first day of my ‘kick the arse of anxiety’ journey.
Beta Blockers today… CBT next